Ramnaresh Sarwan, the West Indies batsman who has not played for his country since June 2011, has turned on the national team's coaching set up for his continued non-selection.
Sarwan, 31, has scored 5,842 Test runs at 40.01 and captained West Indies in two Tests in England in 2007 but was overlooked for this tour and instead signed for Leicestershire where he has been in form with two centuries and two half-centuries and has captained the side while Matthew Hoggard has been injured.
"The coach said some negative stuff that hurt me mentally and emotionally," Sarwan told BBC Sport. "Mentally I was broken down, not from the stress of playing, it's just certain individuals have drained me mentally. It took a toll on my confidence and the way I play. Everything went away."
Sarwan lost his central contract in 2010 with an "extremely indifferent attitude and sporadic approach towards fitness" cited as the reason. He played four more Tests, scoring 83 runs before being dropped. He is now pleased to be out of the West Indies set-up. "I'm away from all those problems, my mind is at ease and I have had nothing to worry about, no coach to say any negative things," he said. "At one point I didn't know which was my back foot and which was my front foot. Now I'm much better, more precise with my movements, everything crystal clear in my head."
"I never spoke about this because I was caught up in a shell and I used to not come out of my house for up to three days. My dad was the one to inspire me to start back playing. I was going to stop because they were getting the better of me but when I saw him break down emotionally that inspired me."
Sarwan returned to county cricket with Leicestershire, after scoring 442 runs at 31.57 for Gloucestershire in 2005. His comeback has been a success, with a century in his second match against Derbyshire and scores of 117 and 98 against Essex - form that has prompted many to call for his return to international cricket.
But even if he was offered the chance of a recall, Sarwan said he wouldn't walk out on Leicestershire. "I owe them because they've invested in me," he said. "I'm big on principle and when I was in the dust being kicked by my own people I was given an opportunity by this club and I will not forsake that or betray anyone. I don't want to find myself in a situation where I was two years ago, where I couldn't have fun. My happiness is utmost and the most important thing to me. I want to stay focused and forget about what has gone before."